Monday, 26 November 2007


As you can see my ability to upload pictures has been restored. I did a bit tinkering and it just happened. I guess I'm a lucky old gal because I have absolutely no idea how I fixed the problem.

The enclosed pic is of yours truly and should have been in my "Douglas Bader Syndrome+Sherry" post. I am showing off more of me than I normally do in public but I have put aside my modesty in order to share this with you. The photographer does get to see considerably more of me and there are no prizes for guessing who she is!

Isn't it a beauty. It is the biggest and most colourful one I have ever had, and it didn't even hurt very much. I am grateful to a certain lady for capturing the moment because this bruise has completely gone now.
In conclusion, I have to add a health warning. Partly because I care for all you dears out there, but mainly because I am allergic to being sued. So don't try this one at home kids. Steer clear of doorposts. And you shouldn't be drinking sherry at your age. Stick to the alcopops!

Sunday, 25 November 2007

Virgin on the Ridiculous

Hester came to visit me this weekend. These liaisons of ours are becoming rather habit forming, but it was good to see her. She brought her puppies with her. They were a bit excitable, and rather a handful, but I love the little dears. We went to the seaside as Hester lives inland and doesn't see the ocean very often. The puppies didn't like the cold much, and wanted to remain in the warmth of the car.
Afterwards we went back to my place and watched a rather suspect video. Very naughty of us! It seemed quite old and therefore the picture was fairly grainy, but we managed to get the gist of the action. The sound, especially the music, was particularly iffy, but it was obvious what was going on and it brought back memories of halcyon days, for both Hester and myself.
Thanks to all the rail travel Hester and I have been doing in order to meet recently, that nice Mr Branson will be kept in woolly jumpers for a long time to come I suspect!

Sunday, 18 November 2007

Weekend Break.

Having a break with Hester this weekend.
We went to the zoo today. Hester and I had a good time. Hope you like the pics.

Tuesday, 13 November 2007

Douglas Bader Syndrome + Sherry =

I have a technical problem which means I cannot post the picture of my bruise. This relates to the title. I keep forgetting that I cannot turn quickly with my condition. I simply fall over and hurt myself.
It was a beauty. Very large, and very colourful. I picked a fight with a doorpost and the score was Marteen 0 Doorpost 1. Also painful, but I grinned and bore it. Like a woman does. Will share it with you when things settle down.

I have not done a proper rant for ages, but the fact the "McCann Circus" is back in town, yet again, is all I need.

So the police have found a bag containing clothes. And some of them are covered in DNA that is NOT Maddy's. Gosh, what a breakthrough. This means that the suspect list is narrowed down to only all the 6 billion people on this planet, minus Maddy.

I now expect an early conclusion to this affair. I would think it will all be over by Christmas. Or am I confusing it with World War One?

Sunday, 11 November 2007

New Job

This pic is of me in my new working clothes. I have got a job as an extra on the "Simpsons". OK, I'm kidding. It is really of me though! I sent an image to and this is what they came up with. Give it a try if you love the programme, like I do. I tried to get Hester to do it, but she is just too shy. Bless her. She can be very relaxed in private, but goes all reserved on me when she is in the public eye. She has too much modesty for her own good. Unlike an old tart like me.

Thursday, 8 November 2007

Told Ya!

Unfortunately "Famous Author Land" proved to be a total washout today. Not a sniff of my "Holy Trinity" of writers. But I did have an interesting experience at a local school. As I drew up to the front door to do my delivery I noticed that some of the senior girls were playing hockey on a nearby pitch. I stopped to watch for a while, quite a while actually, and it brought back fond memories, mmmmm! It also reminded me of the restraining order obtained by my old school, not quite such a pleasant memory, but I am sure it expires in less than twenty years!

As usual I have digressed. The main point of my writing was to draw your attention to the above picture. This is called a "Delivery Card". You can see it says Royal Mail in the top left corner. We use these to get signatures for Recorded Delivery and Special Delivery (Registered Post to the rest of the world) items. If you cast your eyes at the signature at the bottom right of the pic you can see that it clearly says J K Rowling! It has taken me a few weeks but I have finally delivered. I would like to thank Hester for her lenswork at this point. We have debated this point and I concede that it was her that pulled the trigger. I always like to give credit for pics, where it is due. What would I do without her.

I hope this proves to all the "doubting thomases" out there that Marteen (the artist formerly known as Martyne) is a lady of her word. I represent wholesomeness and truth. Where would the world be if people started saying that Mr Osama Bin Smith, lovely man that he is, was merely a figment of my imagination? That would clearly be preposterous, wouldn't it?

Monday, 5 November 2007

Guided Tour

I am glad to say that Hester came to stay with me at the weekend. It was so nice to see her. I gave her a tour of my rural duty. I have talked about Damhead, and I will do so soon again, but my delivery actually starts in Swanston Village, which is featured above. Thatched cottages are rare in Scotland, and seeing one being rethatched is even rarer. One of Scotland's famous authors lived here for a while. It was either Robert Louis Stevenson or Sir Walter Scott. Certainly a guy of such caliber.

I then took Hester out to Damhead.

The first image is of the goats who share a smallholding with the llamas. The afore mentioned animals were in a camera-shy mood for some reason. Ho- Hum.

Thanks to Hester and her camera I got some good shots. Sadly Mr Bin Smith was not available. A neighbour told me he is away in the Middle East with his lodgers at the moment. I presume has has gone for the hot weather. My granny used to say "the nights are fair drawing in" at this time of year. I have absolutely no idea what she was talking about