Monday, 31 December 2007
Lets get "bitter" over with first. In February my mother's cousin died in Morecambe, or to be pedantic, a hospice in Lancaster. You all know about my mother's death earlier this month. 2007 will not go down as a good year in the family annals. I lost two of my closest relatives.
And then the sweet. My sweet, Hester, to be precise. We are both gobsmacked by the whole thing. I told you before we have been acquainted with each other for over twenty years. It is only since September that we have got into an intense relationship. Maybe making up for lost time, or just realising we want to go for it because we both feel it is right.
Hence the bittersweet in the title. One door closes and another opens. Maybe that is the way love works. I don't know.
Tuesday, 25 December 2007
There is much wrong with the world. Wars are never far away. There always seems to be one going on somewhere. I hope Deacon Barry and others are wrong, and Iran is not the next target of American imperialism, but I will not die of surprise if this turns out to be the case. We may be behind our "American cousins" in some respects, but when it comes to barging your way about the world and forcefully telling people to live their lives the way we do, they have a lot of catching up to do compared to the Brits, but they are trying their hardest.
It's virtually impossible for me to do a post without mentioning the McCanns. This is not the time to reiterate some of the things I have said. I hope there is a happy ending to this story. It is difficult to hang on to the fact that this is real people's lives. It so smacks of "show time". I would love to think that Madeleine McCann is still alive, but I fear the poor wee mite is long gone. Possibly by accident, but still gone.
My own life has had it's twists and turns in the last year. My mum had two spells in hospital, which was challenging. Not least because it is a nightmare trying to park in the grounds of Edinburgh's premier hospital. A rant for another day.
You may think it bad of me to say so, but I am glad it is all over. The mother I once knew was long gone. We used to go on holiday together, collaborate on crosswords (she was always much better than me) and share things despite we were very different in character. Latterly she had no quality of life, which depressed me, and she was in a lot of pain. At a time of year when people celebrate life this is probably not what you want to hear, so I will give it a miss now.
All the best to you and yours. I wish everybody, especially those who have the good taste to read this blog, a very merry Xmas. Make what you will of it. Stuff your faces with excess food, but don't do a guilt trip afterwards.
For me, I am going to write to people. People I care about. And tell them I do. It makes me feel good that I will have done so. It is so important to me. Enjoy.
Saturday, 22 December 2007
Not sure about this cut and paste thing but it seems to have worked. Check out the link above. I have come across these ladies before and I admire their work. I do my own bit for charity although that consists only of giving money to various causes. I have actively helped charities, but not for some time. I feel a bit guilty rereading this because part of my initiative lately is to get back to doing the things I did before the problems with my legs started, and in this respect I haven't. Will have to give that one serious thought.
Instead of buying flowers for my mothers funeral I asked people to give a donation to the National Osteoporosis Society. Although pneumonia was her primary cause of death, severe osteoporosis was noted on the certificate. It doesn't kill by itself. It's the complications it brings that do the deed.
So, the next time you are feeling charitable have a think about these two causes. If you give a donation to either or both causes or give to another charity I hope you will feel the better for it. We have so much in the Western world and we don't appreciate it. Look kindly on those who are less fortunate. It could just as easily have been you.
Tuesday, 18 December 2007
I don't call her beloved for nothing. She means so much to me.
I am currently listening to my CD called "No Angel" by Dildo. She has a lovely voice, even if her name is a bit strange. Am I missing something here?
The other meaning of the title refers to motor racing. Hester and I are both Formula 1 fans. We both love the racing although there are other reasons. Fit young men in their Nomex overalls provide an attraction to both of us.
Talking of fit young men, I have just had one visit my door. He was trying to sell me Virgin Media. Sounds great but I have been down that road before. I wanted to do Virgin Broadband earlier in the year. Tried to sign up but they wanted the first payment by Credit Card, which I don't have. So I thought, I'll get one from good old Virgin. They refused me for some reason. I guess my reputation goes before me! So I am with BT instead. Ho Hum.
Going back to the racing, Lewis Hamilton has been in the news today for losing his licence for speeding. Nearly 200k on a French road. He drives at almost twice that speed on Grand Prix tracks! He probably thought he was going slowly when French plod pulled him over!
Monday, 17 December 2007
Sed lady has got me into this txting thing. Like my speling wasnt bad enuf! Aparently al the kids r doing it these days. Its fun and very infectshus. Nxt thing u no she wil b byin a hoodie and a skatebored! (My spelling checker has just gone into meltdown!)
Done emotional, tick. Done mildly amusing, tick. All that's left is to have a go at the McCanns! What Marteen post would be complete without it. Did I mention that I believe every word everybody involved with this affair says? So little Maddy is going to be home for Christmas now. That's great. I hear Santa and the Tooth Fairy will be attending the lunch. Hope I get an invitation. Want to take along my favourite unicorn for her to ride. Told you I love horses. And I can do surreal too, but not as well as them!
Saturday, 8 December 2007
There is the ranting of course. The "McCann Circus" must have been in town even before I started this blog. It has provided the inspiration for many posts and I would certainly give them a mention in an acceptance speech. But other stories have provided the stimulus for a rant as well.
I try to do my best with humour. I guess some of it will work for some people and some will work for others. Hopefully I have entertained everyone to some extent, at some point.
And I have shared my life with you. The highs and lows. A fellow blogger once commented that I write from the heart, and she is right. I might (well actually I do) embroider things for comedic effect but if I tell you I am crying, and I'm not far off it now, then I am really crying. When I talk about Hester I hope I convey the joy I feel at meeting up with her after so many years. Circumstances were different when we first new each other but things have changed now. Although we live many miles apart we are closer than ever.
As well as passing my centenary of posts I am coming up to another milestone. Next Thursday this blog will be exactly 6 months old. Another cause for celebration. Unfortunately it will be completely overshadowed by another event. It is the day of my mothers funeral.
I am not going to write a big long eulogy. I am simply reporting the fact. She suffered a lot latterly and it means that I will have to balance my relief that her suffering is over with the fact that she is gone forever.
I hope you can now understand my mood. Until Thursday it will be mainly nostalgic but I think it will change after that.
I am glad I have finally got this post written. It has been the hardest one to compose, but this is such a significant time for me that I really wanted to share it with you, warts and all. I should be doing stuff in preparation for Hester's arrival but this felt like the right moment to write it all down.
Sunday, 2 December 2007
And now, enter the ring, Robert Murat. It seems this case has been plagued by witnesses who have been afflicted by varying degrees of amnesia, and who pop up out of the woodwork at intervals to recount their stories. I have been suffering from the same problem until recently but can now acquaint you with a few facts.
This Murat man is a serial villain. I first encountered him in Sarejevo in 1914 (I was quite young at the time). As Archduke Franz Ferdinand's procession passed me I clearly saw Mr Murat fire a gun an instant before the Austro-Hungarian dropped down dead.
My next encounter with him was in 1963. I saw him shoot a gun and run off, whilst my "creme de la creme" and I were doing a guided tour of a book depository in Dallas.
My last experience of Robert Murat was ten years ago. I was driving through a Paris underpass when I saw him cause a black Mercedes to have a very serious accident. Although I chased the little white car he was driving he gave me the slip.
What are Portuguese plod waiting for? Get this man banged up. I hear from my sources he is now plotting to assassinate George Bush.
On second thoughts. Maybe we shouldn't rush into this!
Monday, 26 November 2007
The enclosed pic is of yours truly and should have been in my "Douglas Bader Syndrome+Sherry" post. I am showing off more of me than I normally do in public but I have put aside my modesty in order to share this with you. The photographer does get to see considerably more of me and there are no prizes for guessing who she is!
Isn't it a beauty. It is the biggest and most colourful one I have ever had, and it didn't even hurt very much. I am grateful to a certain lady for capturing the moment because this bruise has completely gone now.
In conclusion, I have to add a health warning. Partly because I care for all you dears out there, but mainly because I am allergic to being sued. So don't try this one at home kids. Steer clear of doorposts. And you shouldn't be drinking sherry at your age. Stick to the alcopops!
Sunday, 25 November 2007
Afterwards we went back to my place and watched a rather suspect video. Very naughty of us! It seemed quite old and therefore the picture was fairly grainy, but we managed to get the gist of the action. The sound, especially the music, was particularly iffy, but it was obvious what was going on and it brought back memories of halcyon days, for both Hester and myself.
Thanks to all the rail travel Hester and I have been doing in order to meet recently, that nice Mr Branson will be kept in woolly jumpers for a long time to come I suspect!
Sunday, 18 November 2007
Tuesday, 13 November 2007
I have a technical problem which means I cannot post the picture of my bruise. This relates to the title. I keep forgetting that I cannot turn quickly with my condition. I simply fall over and hurt myself.
It was a beauty. Very large, and very colourful. I picked a fight with a doorpost and the score was Marteen 0 Doorpost 1. Also painful, but I grinned and bore it. Like a woman does. Will share it with you when things settle down.
I have not done a proper rant for ages, but the fact the "McCann Circus" is back in town, yet again, is all I need.
So the police have found a bag containing clothes. And some of them are covered in DNA that is NOT Maddy's. Gosh, what a breakthrough. This means that the suspect list is narrowed down to only all the 6 billion people on this planet, minus Maddy.
I now expect an early conclusion to this affair. I would think it will all be over by Christmas. Or am I confusing it with World War One?
Sunday, 11 November 2007
This pic is of me in my new working clothes. I have got a job as an extra on the "Simpsons". OK, I'm kidding. It is really of me though! I sent an image to www.simpsonizeme.com and this is what they came up with. Give it a try if you love the programme, like I do. I tried to get Hester to do it, but she is just too shy. Bless her. She can be very relaxed in private, but goes all reserved on me when she is in the public eye. She has too much modesty for her own good. Unlike an old tart like me.
Thursday, 8 November 2007
Unfortunately "Famous Author Land" proved to be a total washout today. Not a sniff of my "Holy Trinity" of writers. But I did have an interesting experience at a local school. As I drew up to the front door to do my delivery I noticed that some of the senior girls were playing hockey on a nearby pitch. I stopped to watch for a while, quite a while actually, and it brought back fond memories, mmmmm! It also reminded me of the restraining order obtained by my old school, not quite such a pleasant memory, but I am sure it expires in less than twenty years!
As usual I have digressed. The main point of my writing was to draw your attention to the above picture. This is called a "Delivery Card". You can see it says Royal Mail in the top left corner. We use these to get signatures for Recorded Delivery and Special Delivery (Registered Post to the rest of the world) items. If you cast your eyes at the signature at the bottom right of the pic you can see that it clearly says J K Rowling! It has taken me a few weeks but I have finally delivered. I would like to thank Hester for her lenswork at this point. We have debated this point and I concede that it was her that pulled the trigger. I always like to give credit for pics, where it is due. What would I do without her.
I hope this proves to all the "doubting thomases" out there that Marteen (the artist formerly known as Martyne) is a lady of her word. I represent wholesomeness and truth. Where would the world be if people started saying that Mr Osama Bin Smith, lovely man that he is, was merely a figment of my imagination? That would clearly be preposterous, wouldn't it?
Monday, 5 November 2007
Monday, 29 October 2007
I have a vision of a piece on Crimewatch covering this new development. "Have you seen this well drawn pair of shoes loitering with intent near the McCann's hotel room" or "Do you recognise this very absent face which could have been in the vicinity of the crime scene?
I visited my old colleague Hester at the weekend. A most enjoyable excursion. Many years ago we were both involved in teaching. She still is. Unfortunately the "incident" involving some of the senior girls at my school means I am not. Not only did the School Board sack me, they obtained a restraining order preventing me from going within 50 yards of any of the pupils. I only wanted to give the girls a more "rounded" education. At least, that's what I told the Judge!
Hester now lives in darkest England, but it is only a few hours away by train.
We enjoyed some long conversations, went out for a few light refreshments and she introduced me to her puppies. Very interesting.
I haven't seen her for over a decade so it was great getting back together again. In fact we got on so well she is planning to come up and see me soon. I aim to take her to my beloved Damhead for an afternoon. We could visit the llamas and then possibly drop in on Mr Osama Bin Smith. He is such a charming man and I am sure he would delight in serving us afternoon tea. He has had so many of these AK-47 things delivered now that him and his friends must have at least two each. I wonder what they are going to do with them all? It is a mystery.
This weekend has been fun. I think Hester and I could be spending a lot of time together in future. If you know what I mean. Ooooh!
Wednesday, 24 October 2007
Tuesday, 23 October 2007
I am still going to drop a name, or two, or three, though. Robert is a keen rugby fan. He even bought a South African strip before their match with England last weekend, although he normally supports Scotland. When I told him I had visited the "Hastings Household" he got very excited. I personally prefer Formula One. All these fit, fast young men in overalls. What's not to like! Not sure what that thing they do with cars is all about though.
Getting back to Robert, the "Hastings Household" produced two of Scotlands most famous rugby Internationalists, Gavin and Scott. My brother would also like to point out he went to school with another famous Scottish rugby player, Andy Irvine. He is a bit nerdy that way. I wish he would set up his own blog so I don't have to keep doing his bidding. I do love him really, but don't tell him that, because it would spoil the fun I have winding him up (although we are hoping to have him converted to that new fangled "electricty" stuff soon).
I am a total wreck at the moment but I wanted to communicate with my public because they need me. Shades of Norma Desmond, or what? On top of the unexpected positive "emotional" experiences I have been having recently I am deeply worried about my mothers health. I like to do "light and frothy" with you guys but I have my dark moments, just like any other feeling person. If you like drama, as I do, you know it involves light and shade. That is very much how my life is running at the moment. I find writing very cathartic at times and I guess the tears currently rolling down my cheeks confirm that.
It has been brought to my attention recently that there are people who think my assertions about meeting famous authors are not entirely accurate. I am very hurt. My dressmaking involves me varying between "slight embroidery" and "total fabrication" but my blogging is 100% wholemeal, no added salt, truth.
I will publish my autoghraph from JK Rowling very soon. Then my detracters will be sorry!
Sunday, 21 October 2007
Thursday, 18 October 2007
Wednesday, 17 October 2007
I was driving down the leafy lanes of Damhead today, enjoying the dying embers of the summer weather, and trying in vain to root out some vice and depravity for your delectation, when I suddenly recalled the political bombshell of a couple of day ago. More on that soon.
I don't normally do politics because in Britain it has become so bland and homogenised, as has our society. But that is a post for another day. US politics are much more fun. They have the Republicans and the Democrats who represent widely different viewpoints. One lot are a bunch of gun toting Holy Willies, and the other lot hug trees and love gays. You can see a slightly different emphasis there though, can't you ? Our lot just "fade to grey". A song by Visage in the 80's if I remember rightly. Where American politics start to scare me is when they appoint a leader who is variously described as "a glorified houseplant" and "chowderhead" by two Bloggers I respect (Where are you Max. You never call. You never write). Not only that, he seems to have power over Assembly to do what ever he wants.
If you have dropped into my blog to share knitting patterns with me at this time, you have probably picked the wrong day! There will be others.
A long time ago now I remember I was going to talk about the sad demise of Sir Menzies ( pronounced Mingiss in Scotland) Campbell from the leadership of the Lib-Dem party. He had problems from the start. This is not due to his competence, he is a very experienced statesman, it is sadly because he is not young and "sexy" enough for our very pervasive, and invasive, media. There are journalists I admire for their wit and ability. I know one now. I knew one up until five years ago when he was tragically killed in a car crash. But the paparazzi can be scum. Making money off the back of people's misfortune. It's outside my moral code.
I have got myself in a bit of a lather. I don't normally do politics, it has been a pleasant, but enjoyable departure. You know I do social comment. It is an important subject to me.
I have taken up a new hobby to help me unwind from this intense blogging thing. Jigsaws. I just got a new one today. I am going to go away and start it. It has 1000 pieces and is entitled "Empty Sky". I may be away some time.
Friday, 12 October 2007
Monday, 8 October 2007
A couple of important things have happened to me just recently. Both of them came about through blogging, so I don't want to give it up entirely, just turn the wick down a bit and get on with other stuff. Firstly I read a post which I found very inspiring. Beautifully crafted and enjoyable. It made me realise I have got into a self-centred rut. The world does not revolve around me, which is probably a blessing for civilisation in general.
I don't currently have a partner but that has not always been the case. Although I have never "tied the knot"I have had my moments. I had given up on this side of my life until the other thing happened. Affection for another person is a gradual process with me. It creeps up on me slowly until I can consciously start to feel it gently tug at my heart strings. Gosh, that was pretty lyrical and deep by my standard!
And that is the situation I am currently in with another blogger. Don't know if it is the words she uses, the way she uses them or just the general sense of "her" that I get. The fact that she is complimentary about my writing can probably be thrown into the mix as well. Don't know what direction it is going to take either. But it is definitely there. After my recent bout of negativity and introversion it is elating to realise I can feel that way about another person.
Going to have lots to tell the guys at next weeks BA meeting!
Monday, 1 October 2007
Sunday, 30 September 2007
The title of this piece comes from a Julian Slade musical. He went to Cambridge and was involved with the Footlights, who regularly perform at the Edinburgh Festival. I am shortly going to expound about Cambridge, but I first have to give credit to the originator of "Salad Days", a Mr W Shakespeare of Stratford Upon Avon. Good on you sir.
I have been recently musing about my time at Girton. It was one of the best periods of my life and I just want to share it with you. One of my greatest pleasures was driving about in my little Mini and exploring the shire. English country pubs are the bestest in the world. I even found one which sold "Nooky Broon" (Newcastle Brown Ale) my next favourite to sherry. Most nights I would drive to a chip shop which sold unusual fish. Not just your boring haddock and cod but sole and hake and others. Then I'd take my meal and motor down to "The Backs". This refers to the fact that some of the colleges back onto the river Cam (hence the name Cambridge). I would sit on the grassy banks eating my fish and chips (or fish supper as we call it in Scotland) and watch the fellow students punting on the river. A "punt" is a vessel similar to a gondola in Venice. It is propelled in a similar way, by use of a pole. Heady days.
Friday, 28 September 2007
I love Teresa (the sister of a good friend) for her disdaining ability but I am going to go much further than that. Criminal and arsepiece (you know I am upset when I resort to language like that) Miles Cooper has been found guilty on eleven counts. They relate to him sending letter bombs. Sending packages through the post that will explode when opened by the recipient is obviously bad in sane peoples books. Yesterday I was loading a package into my van and it burst open as I was handling it. Luckily it only contained a bottle of spring water. But what if had been one of Mr Cooper's bombs! I am only the messenger but I could have been "shot". Let the bastard rot in jail for a long, long time.
Take care my dears.
Saturday, 22 September 2007
Friday, 21 September 2007
Tuesday, 18 September 2007
Meant to say last week that I have given bicycle riding a go for the first time in years. It has sat out on the landing for longer than I would like to admit but I thought it was time to give it another try. Although my balance problems involve my legs rather than my ears I am still jerky and apprehensive about cycling. As it happened I was able to go up and down my street without too much trouble. I was a bit wobbly ( and I swear I had not touched any sherry that day Diana) but I did it. I am pleased. I was certainly better dressed than the ladies in the picture, although the gentlemen around them don't seem to mind! Talking of ladies and things that can wobble, maybe I wasn't but I was certainly thinking about it. The gorgeous Fern Britton is on the cover of Woman this week. It appears she has been loosing weight. Don't do this girl! I have some girlfriends who are proud to be comfortably upholstered women in an age of stick insects. They look up to you. Please don't let them down. This isn't coming from me. I'm slim. I just want my friends to be happy and not beat themselves up about their bodies. (As a codicil: I always like to give photographers credit but I have no idea who took this one).
Monday, 17 September 2007
It seems I have finally got my head round the uploading of pics thing. About time too. The animal in the foreground is called Polo. As you can see he is a llama. Not the sort of animal you come across frequently in the Scottish countryside. He lives on a smallholding, with three of his relatives, in Damhead. He has a habit of walking up to you and pressing his nose up against yours. Sadly he has yet to discover breath freshener! Alternatively he might shove his muzzle up into your armpit. It must be some sort of llama thing. On a different note altogether, is it just me, or are there other people with Blogspot experiencing spurious bits of German filtering onto their pages? I don't mean common stuff like zeitgeist or kindergarten, I mean real non-understandable German! And last, but certainly not least, a big thank you to my good pal Annette for providing the picture.
Sunday, 16 September 2007
Saturday, 15 September 2007
Wednesday, 12 September 2007
Tuesday, 11 September 2007
It is MickeyMouse@Disneyland.com. I am happy to know that you will end your days in a place you will find very uncomfortably hot, you spammer.
Sunday, 9 September 2007
(bought that word in a box named "Little Used" for 10p in a local jumble sale recently)is thus. How come Teflon (thanks NASA)the non-stick stuff, sticks to the inside of pans?
P.S. I started this post yesterday, if that makes any sense. Not that I usually do! Not even to me.