Someone said to me recently, "what have the McCanns ever done for us", to which I replied, apart from the roads, sanitation, public order, fresh water and clean streets they have given us 213 days of sheer entertainment ( watch "Life of Brian" if you don't get that one.)
And now, enter the ring, Robert Murat. It seems this case has been plagued by witnesses who have been afflicted by varying degrees of amnesia, and who pop up out of the woodwork at intervals to recount their stories. I have been suffering from the same problem until recently but can now acquaint you with a few facts.
This Murat man is a serial villain. I first encountered him in Sarejevo in 1914 (I was quite young at the time). As Archduke Franz Ferdinand's procession passed me I clearly saw Mr Murat fire a gun an instant before the Austro-Hungarian dropped down dead.
My next encounter with him was in 1963. I saw him shoot a gun and run off, whilst my "creme de la creme" and I were doing a guided tour of a book depository in Dallas.
My last experience of Robert Murat was ten years ago. I was driving through a Paris underpass when I saw him cause a black Mercedes to have a very serious accident. Although I chased the little white car he was driving he gave me the slip.
What are Portuguese plod waiting for? Get this man banged up. I hear from my sources he is now plotting to assassinate George Bush.
On second thoughts. Maybe we shouldn't rush into this!