Monday, 1 October 2007

What 'ave We Ear Then?

It seems our shores have been invaded by a new malaise. Sightings are on the increase and it is probably only a matter of time before the whole thing reaches epidemic proportion. Medics have been gearing up in anticipation of this threat for some time, and now it seems, their plans will soon be put to the test. I refer to the condition of "Bluetooth". I have sought sound medical advice and am told there are two easy ways of spotting the poor souls who are suffering from this affliction. Firstly they will exhibit an ugly swelling attached to one of their ears. Please resist your natural temptation to whip out a scalpel and slice it off for them. You may see it as a kindness, but these people can turn nasty and try to bite your ankles before you know what is happening to you! The second symptom is even more worrying. The sufferers of this condition are likely to go about their daily business and suddenly start a conversation with themselves! Please keep children away from these people. I would hate these innocents to be stricken with the same complaint.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think another similar affliction, but the ear swelling is more within the ear and affects both ears at the same time, is ipoditis!

damewiggy said...

who knew there were so many incredibly important people in our country? they must be on the line at all times, just in case tom cruise calls.

they remind me of secret service agents, so i wear an aluminum foil hat when i go out. just in case tom cruise calls.

Martyne said...

anonymous
I get where you are coming from. These people seem to have white slimey things dripping from their ears. Yuk!
damewiggy
Tom Cruise is a global scourge and I thank you for your advice. The aluminum foil bit is also a help. Thanks dear.

Old Knudsen said...

The hands free ones before blueteeth confused me as I'd say "what? are you talking to me?" only to be greeted with a blank stare like I was nuts. I saw some old bloke who just got into line at KFC tell someone on his bluetooth that he had just gotten into line and then gave a blow by blow account of how fast the line was moving.

Diana said...

HA! And then you wonder how we even 'functioned' as a society before all of this technology! Heaven forbid you can't be reached every second of every minute of every hour of . . . . .

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