Monday, 3 September 2007

Me Normal?

Well, I'm pretty much back to normal today, or as normal as I get, which isn't very. Just thank de lawd that you're not a boozed up old bat with sexuality issues. Last weekend put a few zeros on the end of my Kleenex bill! Going to do a "Posit" today although it is a bit of a cheat, but this problem does happen when I am working. What I want to know is (and this isn't a rhetorical question) why do gulls make so much damn noise? Other birds can go about their business and only emit the odd tweet, but gulls seem to feel the need to screech the whole day long. One outside my window is doing it right now. Why do these "flying rats" feel the need to be so vocal? Another big question confounding me is of a mechanical nature. If cats always land feet downwards and toast always lands butter side downwards, what would happen if you tied a piece of toast to the back of a cat, butter side up, and dropped them? These are important questions that I need to have answers for. Even the mighty Wikipedia has failed me. I need help. But if you have ever read me before you have probably already come to that conclusion!

8 comments:

Deacon Barry said...

It comes down to a balance of probabilities. Buttered toast does not invariably land butter side down, but it is the probability of that occurance which rises in direct proportion to the cost of the carpet. The probability of the cat landing on its feet wins out until the cat/toast combo is falling towards a carpet, whose worth exceeds the GDP of a medium sized country (probably Belgium)
When this occurs, one school of thought has it that the cat and toast will rotate permanently in mid air. By attaching a dynamo, vast quantities of free energy could be obtained, in violation of the 1st law of thermodynamics. Fortunately for the universe, it is impossible to attach a slice of buttered toast to the back of a cat.
Trust me on this one.

Martyne said...

Damn those physics people and their laws. We could have had a wonderful new source of green energy (subject to the number of cats and pieces of toast in the world). Could we shave the back of the cat and use superglue? I suppose the animal rights people might have a few (less than suitable for young ears) things to say about that.

Deacon Barry said...

Shaving the back of a cat is even more impossible.

Martyne said...

OK, lets scrub the cat thing. Clearly their reluctance to being attached to bread products is a stumbling block. What if we just took two bits of buttered toast, strapped them back to back, and attached them to a generator? Could we cheat the laws of thermodynamics that way?

Deacon Barry said...

Nope. All that happens is the probability of getting butter on your carpet becomes a certainty.

Deacon Barry said...

I found this Wiki on the subject:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buttered_cat_paradox

Martyne said...

What a hoot deacon. Shame Wiki are trying to delete it. Some people are just no fun. I have moved on to an even bigger question. How does the non-stick coating on the inside of a pan stick to the pan?

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